How would you know you're in a Filipino Party????
Ilene sent this to me and it's sooo true - I can't stop laughing!
You're an hour late and there is still nobody else there!
There’s enough food to feed the Philippines
...you cant even get
thru the door because
theres a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.
When you see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the last supper, a huge
Santo Nino, and a barrel man.
When they start singing "Peelings" on karaoke...
The piano in the living room is just there for decoration and to display framed pictures on. no one really plays the piano at the house, unless you count that one piano lesson your parents forced you to go to when you were 8..
When you hear an Uncle traumatize one of the female cousins by saying " OH,
Yor a Big Girl Now!" instead of "You're all grown up"
when your puppy goes missing and you start thinking that it may be in your dinner.
everyone is pointing with their lips
When they give you extra
adobo for your
baon.
The couches still have the plastic cover on them.
when everyone says you're getting too dark and you should use papaya soap
You have an Auntie that likes to grab your thing and calls it little birdie or
putotoy.
The living room is tiled, not carpeted.... because the furniture has been cleared out for karaoke and dancing.
when the drunk uncles in the backyard don't even bother going to the bathroom to take a piss....the rose bush is designated to be the community urinal.
When you get rice stuck to your socks because you had to take your shoes off at the door
I find it hilarious when my old Navy Retired
Ilocano Manong uncles see old friends at a party.All I hear is...."
UKI NAM! LONG TIME NO SEE!
SHeee...it!"
when you are greeted by a
tita baby and/or a
tito boy
When the older men are in the garage playing
posoy-dos, the women are in the kitchen gossiping, the other people are in the entertainment room signing karaoke, and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised by any adults.
...your told only to walk on the plastic floor runners
-There's goat
pulutan beeing cooked
there's a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling "
Uy peeeek-
chuuur! "
parents expect you to be best friends with their friends kids just because they grew up as best friends back in the Philippines. ...
When you enter a family party and you "
Manong" half the old crowd and when you leave you have to say good bye to EVERYONE that's related to you as a sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.
You know you're at a Filipino party when you hear a
male's voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra's "My Way"....
women are still doing the line dance to "
todo todo todo"...
when there's at least one or more with the name :
jp,
jt ,
tj,
dj,
aj,
rj,
lj, nae nae,
lin lin etc.......... .
someone tells you how much weight you've put on since the last time they saw you, and then hands you a plate and says "go eat! go eat!"
- the parents show off how talented their kid is by forcing them to sing or play an instrument in front of their guests
you get the Filipino kiss on the cheek, it's like a combination of kissing and smelling
-All the old aunties are already wrapping up food to take home.
- You have the
Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70" LCD in the movie room, the 10 yr old 50" CRT in the living room, the 15 yr old 30" tube in the breakfast nook, the 20 yr old 15" tube in the kitchen, the 30 yr old 13" tube in the garage and the little portable by the BBQ grill Because TVs are NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn't have a TV yet(
hahaha.. ..then it ends up in the
balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at the house again..)
- the leftover food can be recycled into another dish later on that week..
- When someone is encouraging you to eat the "chocolate meat"..... (
dinuguan)
- there's a token white guy there that's responsible for bringing one of your aunts over from the Philippines by marrying her...
- When every other sentence you hear at the party starts with "
Puta" and ends with "Mo"
- Chances are the hottest looking chick there is only 14 years old....and she ends up being your cousin
- The aunties are showing off their "designer" Louis
Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a
swapmeet in the Philippines
- Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you're not sure if she's the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway just in case
- When no matter how many times to politely protest, refuse, or say you're full, you're still forced to eat food and even then, end up bringing at least 2
tupperware containers worth of stuff home.
- everyone decides to take off to
las vegas to stay at the time share your aunt owns.
- they constantly ask if you have a
gf/bf, or if you're married yet...and when you say "No" they're like "Oh why not?" and then they just so happen to know someone to hook you up with that's "perfect" for you...
- an Auntie or
Manang asks, "Did you
ETTTTTT...?"you say, "Yes Auntie,
im full...!"and she says, "We
hab Kanin..... you
ETTTTT...!!"
- relatives will ask you where you worked and if it's a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they'll ask if you can get them a discount..
- everybody has there own magic mic with "their" songs.....
- when you see banana ketchup
- After the party, you're helping clean up and your auntie tells you..."
Anak...... put the
kwan next to the
ano."
- The
lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.
They play achy-
breaky heart...over and over again.....
- i like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night...
- The room is full of Uncles and Aunties that you aren't even blood related to.
- when you say "
Pssssssssssttt. ...." out loud and everyone turns to look.. (its the universal way to get a Filipino's attention)
